Sex worker as a body massager
At one point I got out of the car and walked away from him, but he seemed completely blindsided by the whole thing, and at the time I thought he was just manipulating me and being manipulative overall. I was so excited to get out and never looked back! After graduating, I worked in retail for a year, and then at 18 I started my career as a sex worker as a body massager, online girlfriend, and foot fetish model. So to be told I was a goddess, incomparably beautiful, and that people would pay to meet me, talk to me, play games with me, and generally fantasize about me and claim it as their own was an incredible confidence boost. I introduced them to others and I was hooked from then on.
I took a few breaks and moved here and there when the regulars left, but I was still active in these communities most days of the year. It has taught me a lot about the world, perceptions, and myself. I have learned to love and cherish my body despite all its fluctuations. I now love looking at myself and my imperfections in the mirror. Do I enjoy peeing on someone? This is so disgusting, how can I be involved in this? And now, that’s probably one of the things that drives me the most. Also, most importantly, I’ve learned to say no to things that I’m uncomfortable with or don’t want to do, no matter how much it costs.
Reconnect with my tormentor.
So, I’ve improved a lot in the last few years and finally… reunited with my dad. I had confidence, I was in good mental health, and I certainly wanted to know how he was doing. If I had stayed away from him, it would have been some kind of wake-up call that he’d screwed up. And it felt like a full-body massage. He wasn’t perfect, and he never has been, but he sincerely apologized for his actions, and as far as I know, he is actively trying not to do anything harmful again. Even after all he did to me, he was still my father, and I loved and missed him. Because, deep in my heart, I also had fun memories of him teaching me how to hold a baseball bat. It probably should have been a crime to wear shoes to dance with him, ride around on his bike, and play country music, and I wished I could have more memories like that with him.
Conclusion
For a long time, I thought I would never speak to him again. Perhaps, regardless of the path I chose, I might have just contacted him out of curiosity, but I think things would not have worked out so well. Spending time in this community and realizing my worth has given me the confidence to correct him when he says something not so-nice like a body massage. So I am very happy to say that we are well on our way to repairing a very broken family relationship. I can’t wait to see what else I learn about myself and how I grow.
